Jennifer Jilks | 
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e-Portfolio ]Any teacher or parent reading a newspaper these days will shudder when faced with the apparently unending reports of violence. The Ministry of Education, faced with increasingly serious incidents of violence in the media, has proclaimed a new initiative. We, the teachers of Ontario, now need to teach "fundamental values" to our students. Character education (respect, honesty, fairness and responsibility) would lead to a more cohesive society, they say. What most upsets me is that as an educator of more than 25 years I cannot remember when I did not teach these values by action, precept, exemplary behaviour, behavioural consequences and a careful concern for my students in and out of the classroom. Safety is the most important thing I teach. After that it is respect and how to disagree agreeably. It is most disconcerting to be responsible for the behaviour or society. I am an educator not a parent or priest.
What overwhelms me is the daunting task of adding yet another series
of lessons to an already full curriculum, which includes two Social
Studies Strands, plus 5 strands in Science. Last year I taught a
Grade 4/5 class. When I think that 20% of our classes in OCDSB are
split-grade classes, I wonder how is it that we are expected to cover
this many strands, and now we have to add yet another subject to the
expectations list. It is not possible to cover any of them in-depth,
to find that deep understanding and knowledge of any of the strands,
without compromising something. What do I give up in order to cover
this new "subject"?
Our schools are full of heart-warming initiatives which include many
programs: anti-Bullying campaigns, Peacekeepers (student-trained
problem-solvers), Roots of Empathy (pairing a new mom and her baby
with a class of young children), anti-racist curricula,
anti-everything learning activities amongst a very few. We have
learned to incorporate a philosophy of tolerance and respect into all
of our classroom activities, since this is not a skill that can be
taught in isolation. I spend many recesses working carefully with
students who do not seem to be able to control their tempers and
their bodies. Teachers spend an inordinate amount of time working
with students to train them in behaviour management; to keep their
hands off others, to "use your words, to figure out logical
consequences for inappropriate behaviour which will lead students to
make better choices.
When asked what teachers want for their students, after the wish that
they could learn how to learn, we want them to become
meaningful members of society. We want them to respect themselves,
respect others and respect property. The notion that we can boil this
"new initiative" down into a social engineering intervention, a cure,
if you will, that will result in students respecting themselves,
peers, their parents and teachers is laudable but laughable. How many
times have I tried this in my classroom, only to be shot down by an
irate parent whose child couldn't possibly have stolen, lied, cheated
or "accidentally" tripped someone.
As a classroom teacher I cannot tell you how many times I have
phoned a home ("Make sure you let me know if s/he isn't behaving!")
only to have a parent deny the truth or blame me for causing the
behaviour. As a parent of three adults, my first question was always,
"What did YOU do?" My students, when reporting verbal or physical
abuses by other students, always end up in a discussion involving
both parties and an analysis of how they were responsible for the
behaviours that preceeded the events. Some, faced with an upset peer,
insist, "S/he hit me back first!" Some parents blame the school. "His
hockey coach doesn't think he has a problem with co-operating and his
manners. (Yes, I did hear that one. This kid set fire to the garbage
can in the boy's washroom. He was in Grade 3 at the time.) On the
other hand, this student had the nerve to stand up for me in a
parent-teacher interview and scolded his dad for yelling at ME during
the interview. I kid you not.
As with teacher testing and student testing, testing doesn't
improve teaching methods or student learning. What we need to be
doing is teaching the parents how to manage out of control children,
how to say no, how to give them tough-love and how to set standards
and limits at home. Teachers cannot teach values that may bee
discordant with those taught at home. Many parents cannot or will not
take responsibility for their children and their actions. Many
parents do not believe that their children are capable of the
behaviours that we see in schools. We can teach values until we are
blue in the face and still make no progress. Parents who feel they
can criticize a teacher in their kitchen produce children who do the
same to our faces, or behind our backs. Parents who cheat the system
(remember that commercial: stealing cable signals?) will raise
children who feel they can cheat on essays and tests.
The notion that "kids will be kids" is only slowly changing. Some cannot enforce change in their children, for they do not know how to do it themselves. Parents are tired, stressed, dealing with increased pressures at work, layoffs, emotional problems and socioeconomic stresses as at home. They are unable to stick to limits at home, which will ensure that children, used to high action cartoons, video games, violent images on TV, inappropriate stereotypes in the movies they watch, cannot differentiate between poor manners, rudeness and unacceptable behaviour in their own lives.
Non-custodial parents (been there-done that!) believe that they
can spoil their kids and be a better parent. What a mistake! Parents
of special needs students feel the guilt factor and similarly do not
set realistic limits and boundaries for their kids. I have set
consequences for inappropriate behaviour, only to have the parent
release him or her from the consequence. The number of children's
movies that contain foul language, toilet humour and bawdy jokes
about our body's orifices and the elimination of liquids truly make
me sick. I find the phrase "What the hell?" to be said far too many
times for my liking, especially when it is prefaced by a request to
do some work in class. Kids are unafraid of challenging authority,
but fearful of putting pen to paper.
Finally, on a similar note, the McGuinty government's new
Nutrition Plan is similarly laudable. Great idea to cut out Coke
machines and junk food dispensers in schools - it just doesn't make a
difference to what it is that parents send in with their children.
There is a huge issue but, until society can teach the parents how to
create nutritional meals, these same parents will insist on their
right to send a kid with a sprinkle donut and a chocolate spread
sandwich made of white bread for lunch because they "cannot afford a
good lunch." I have spent a great deal of time on the phone defending
my principles in demanding students eat, a good snack in the morning
- not pop and chips. I spend weeks teaching nutrition only to have
parents send in full bags of potato chips, or, to give them the
benefit of the doubt, the kids take them after parents have gone to
work. Often kids throw lunches in the garbage or trade things with
friends. We spend time on the phone explaining these policies to
parents who, through no fault of their own, do not know how to create
balanced budget on a meal or aren't there when their child leaves his
lunch on the kitchen counter.
Children who are parented by people who do not understand
themselves and do not posess basic parenting skills produce
dysfunctional members of society. Not teachers. Parents who set
limits create students who posess values. Children placed in quality,
non-profit day care are well-cared for by providers who know how to
teach them, give them a safe learning environment and give them
precepts for living. It is too bad that the day care crisis in Canada
does not meet the needs of these children. A day care is a wonderful
opportunity for a teacher to educate the parent. Many times, when the
child is picked up the teacher can counsel and give parenting tips.
Too many times children who do not attend quality care come to us
with poor learning skills, even fewer pre-reading and pre-writing
skills and the attention span of hummingbirds. They cannot focus and
cannot sit still for more than 30 seconds. Research has shown that it
is the first five years that are the most important. The parents
teach their kids how to walk, talk, appreciate language and
literature, and to speak civilly to one another. This is what is
missing in our society. Not 'Values Education'.
Students who attend quality day care, with well-paid and trained
day care providers, come to us knowing how to sit in a circle, listen
and respect to others and to show concern for their peers. Children
who are cared for by parents with little education, a minimal
understanding of how to meet the social and emotional needs of their
children produce students who cannot manage to function in a group.
These are the kids who act out, bully and who are unable to fit into
society. These are the kids who grow up to bully, to be violent and
to show little care for those around them. Many children would
benefit by being in a learning environment in which they had access
to literature, rich learning environments and opportunities to learn
and play with others. For every dollar we spend in early childhood we
save $7 later in remediating learning disabilities or righting the
wrongs of children with difficult social, socioeconomic or emotional
home lives.
A good education must include values. We teach them. We know what we are doing. We have been doing it for many, many years. A good education must be supported by family practices. When students come home complaining that they had a detention, or that they had to say 'sorry' for something they did not do; parents, please listen to us and listen to them. Remember that there are two sides to every story. No child was ever hurt by the word NO. Limits are good for them. It gives a child comfort, boundaries and an understanding of what is expected of them. We teach them to keep their hand off each other, to keep their hands off of other people's "stuff" and to "do unto others". I hope you teach this at home. You can find this precept in many different forms and many different religions, but many have not been taught in the home. If it hasn't been taught at home the child will not practice it in public, in school and in societal groups. Read a book on parenting. Listen to your child's teachers. We know whereof we speak.
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