Ray Jilks (1925 - 2007) Funeral Eulogy Photos Set 1 Photos Set 2 Obituary Celebration of Life: April 13, 2007 Brain Tumour Information (my research:external link)

This is a celebration of a life well lived Married 59 years to the late Joan.

Living and Dying With Dignity: A daughter's journey through Long-Term Care   (Jilks, 2008)

The story of mom's cancer and dad's brain tumour

JoanRayWedding	JoanRay2002	JoanRay1991	JoanRay1990
JoanRayJoyce	JoanRay2000	ChristeningJR	Wedding2002
Ray1942	JoanRay2002.11	JoanRay1983	family1960
RayAust	Family1974	Family1970	Ray1950s
JoaonRay1944	JoanRayNanny	Ray1956	RayFluffy1956
JoanRayGrGr	RayJenn1956	RayFluffy56	Grandpa001
Grandpa102	GrGr100	RaySabre	JoanRay1945
announcement	RayG&S	RayG&S1	Grandpa103

yard clean up	Toronto: Sue Bunny	LPCC choir	Akela at Church
yard work	mom & dad in England	dad & dogs	dad & Jenny
boat season starts	shed building	dock preps	Grandpa & Grandpa
church goers	Church goers	father, dog, son	neighbours in Toronto Uncle Dee is on the right
building the dyke	raising the flag	swimming at the Scythes	dad & dog
kindling He was always building something.	boat season	clearing the land	my 9th?
a loving marriage	building	shed construction	bike ride
father & son	fishing	Dad - 2002 At my wedding	lumberman
Akela & son	father & son	gardening on Walker Ave	father son
Trip	inspecting	Ray & adored pets	Fall clean up
proud parents 1979	proud grandfather 1980	Ray & Bob: new boat	Relaxing BBQ
his garden	"My dad BBQs in the rain", I told my husband who baulked at the rain. "Your mother was neat!", was his retort!	The last Thanksgiving dinner they made -2005.	Faithful companion. Bandy was adopted by a loving couple.
This was the day dad moved into Gravenhurst Manor.	Later he said, “When you come in the door and look there -does it ever look beautiful: the chair and the lamp. I wanted to get the place looking pretty good.”	He was proud of his room. From June to August, 2006	Gravenhurst Manor
Leisureworld: September to February	. wheelchair He couldn't get around any more. His knees were weak.	Xmas door decorations	Palliative care record in which I kept dates and events
window decorations	Aunt Adie's Painting- To make him feel more at home.	Flowers make a difference	Valentine Decorations
Feb.7 A hooded fleece kept him warm.	beautiful hands & tea Brian fed dad his breakfast every day from September to mid-October.	I fed him dinners from October until January. It was a wonderful time to give him care and loving attention. Often it is hard to make conversation. Having a job to do helped me help him.	The Muskoka Room Fluid intake was important. He loved his coffee. Some days he would drink two cups, and two cups of milk.

Obituary

On Friday, February 16, 2007 Raymond Dane Jilks passed over in his 81st year. His daughter was at his bedside. His marriage of 59 years to the late Joan (Butt), both of Bala and Toronto, thrived in a spirit of Christian love and fellowship. Ray is survived by his sisters: Jean Bezley and Irene Humphrey. He unconditionally supported Joan through many years of various facets of her illnesses. Nothing was too much trouble. In the bosom of Muskoka Ray and Joan demonstrated loving kindness and compassion by involving themselves in Bala United Church, and participated in many other volunteer activities, over many years. Joan and Ray sang in church choirs all of their lives. They were in a Gilbert & Sullivan society, The Elderberries and the North York Chorus.

A kind and caring father, dad always had a strong sense of family. He supported his children, Jenniferof Bala (Brian Racine) and Robin of Campbell River, B.C., in every aspect of their lives. He attended every school event; track meet, swim meet, choir concert, and Air Cadet function throughout our family life. He led Scout troops and supported the community, as much as his wife and children, in many ways. In the bosom of Muskoka he and Joan demonstrated loving kindness and compassion by involving themselves in Bala United Church, The Cranberry Festival, the Bethlehem Trek and other volunteer activities.

Raymond began working at age 15 - when his father died. He had to go out to support his family. Putting in 30 years at Canada Hardware, he earned his Architectural Hardware Consultant’s certificate during a series of summers.He meticulously read architectural drawings and created lists of hardware for two-dimensional buildings soon to become a three-dimensional reality. He would make lists of hardware from those plans. He would then make a bid on a construction project using his list to make a quote. His careful attention to detail was reflected in his personal documents and affairs. Joan worked at Canada Hardware, as well, until Jennifer (at age 6 months) was adopted. She told the story of standing up at her desk and yelling across the floor to all who could heard, "We have a baby!" Robin was adopted at the age 6 wee

He lavished grandchildren, Caitlin (Jean-Luc Cooke), Jesse (Tia), Terry (Heather) and Keegan, with love and affection in his own quiet way. Many a fine Muskoka day was praised with flowing silver coinage for eager grandkids sent to the Balacade for an afternoon’s entertainment.

There are many family photos of the new property in Bala. Joan and Ray bought a property two doors down from her sister and brother-in-law and four doors down from her brother and sister-in-law. The family slides show the respective families having picnics and swimming sessions at the water's edge.The family spent every summer in Bala from 1960 onwards. After Joan retired from the Rotary Club office, at age 66, they moved to Bala full time. Living in the cottage, they helped build the new house. They entertained many friends and family over the years, in rain or shine.

Ray had to give away his precious dog, Bandy, when he moved into Gravenhurst Manor on May 28th. This broke his heart. Ray was a lover of nature in all forms. His gardens and plants thrived under his care. He raised violets, vegetables, gladiolas, roses. His BBQing (come rain or shine) was one of the best parts of visiting. Joan & Ray’s Open Houses at Christmas time allowed Ray to be a host with the most; good and dear friends came from near and far. He was handy with tools and built many
things with great precision.

Ray succumbed to his last bout of cancer in the bosom of some phenomenal souls at Leisureworld. We would like to thank the staff at Gravenhurst Leisureworld who made both my dad and myself feel welcome and comfortable, especially in his last days. He was treated as a person, not a patient. His six-month stay helped me get to know many staff members. Together we have ensured that he has been as comfortable as possible. We laughed with him at his devilish antics, we joked with him with affection and we shared his final journey with a sense of respect and awe. With always a kind word, a smile or wise and witty repartee, we have been embraced with joy and a loving spirit by all staff. They have an amazing spirit and their kind dedication to serving seniors in Muskoka helped eased dad's transition from this world to the next. Blessings to all of them, as well the caring staff at Gravenhurst Manor, where he spent June, July and August. Their care helped ease our last cognizant months with dad. His last months were difficult as the tumour took hold of his mind. His last weeks were intolerable as he lost more of his language and his cognitive abilities.

Cremation has already taken place. Visitation is to be held Thursday, April 12th from 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. and Friday, April 13th from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. A celebration of his life will be held Friday, April 13th at 3:00 p.m. at Cavill Funeral Home in Gravenhurst, 215-1 Bay Street. If desired, donations may be made to the Canadian Cancer Society. Their support system has proven to be invaluable to our family. You can donateon-line through www. CanadaHelps.org.

Jennifer & Brian, and Robin Jilks

Celebration of Life for Ray Jilks

Last update: Apr. 14, 2007