Ray Jilks

(1925 - 2007)

Funeral

Eulogy

Photos Set 1

Photos Set 2

Obituary

Celebration of Life: April 13, 2007

Brain Tumour Information
(my research:external link)

This is a celebration of a life well lived Married 59 years to the late Joan.

Living and Dying With Dignity: A daughter's journey through Long-Term Care   (Jilks, 2008)

The story of mom's cancer and dad's brain tumour

JoanRayWedding
JoanRayWedding
JoanRay2002
JoanRay2002
JoanRay1991
JoanRay1991
JoanRay1990
JoanRay1990
JoanRayJoyce
JoanRayJoyce
JoanRay2000
JoanRay2000
ChristeningJR
ChristeningJR
Wedding2002
Wedding2002
Ray1942
Ray1942
JoanRay2002.11
JoanRay2002.11
JoanRay1983
JoanRay1983
family1960
family1960
RayAust
RayAust
Family1974
Family1974
Family1970
Family1970
Ray1950s
Ray1950s
JoaonRay1944
JoaonRay1944
JoanRayNanny
JoanRayNanny
Ray1956
Ray1956
RayFluffy1956
RayFluffy1956
JoanRayGrGr
JoanRayGrGr
RayJenn1956
RayJenn1956
RayFluffy56
RayFluffy56
Grandpa001
Grandpa001
Grandpa102
Grandpa102
GrGr100
GrGr100
RaySabre
RaySabre
JoanRay1945
JoanRay1945
announcement
announcement
RayG&S
RayG&S
RayG&S1
RayG&S1
Grandpa103
Grandpa103

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yard clean up
yard clean up
Toronto Bunny
Toronto: Sue Bunny
LPCC choir
LPCC choir
Akela at Church
Akela at Church
yard work
yard work
mom & dad in England
mom & dad in England
dad & dogs
dad & dogs
dad & Jenny
dad & Jenny
boat season starts
boat season starts
shed building
shed building
dock preps
dock preps
Family Photo
Grandpa & Grandpa
church
church goers
Church
Church goers
father, son, dog
father, dog, son

neighbours
neighbours in Toronto

Uncle Dee is on the right

building the dyke
building the dyke
raising the flag
raising the flag
swimming at the Scythes
swimming at the Scythes
dad & dog
dad & dog

kindling
kindling

He was always building something.

boat season
boat season
clearing land
clearing the land
9th?
my 9th?
loving marriage
a loving marriage
building
building
shed
shed construction
bike ride
bike ride
father son
father & son
fishing
fishing

Dad
Dad - 2002 At my wedding

lumberman
lumberman
Akela & son
Akela & son
father & son
father & son
gardening
gardening on Walker Ave
father son
father son
Trip
Trip
inspecting
inspecting
Ray & pets
Ray & adored pets
Fall clean up
Fall clean up
proud parents
proud parents 1979
proud grandfather
proud grandfather 1980
Ray & Bob
Ray & Bob: new boat
25
Relaxing BBQ
dad
his garden

28
"My dad BBQs in the rain", I told my husband who baulked at the rain.

"Your mother was neat!", was his retort!

The last Thanksgiving dinner they made -2005.

29

Faithful companion. Bandy was adopted by a loving couple.

moving day

This was the day dad moved into Gravenhurst Manor.

 

The Manor
Later he said, “When you come in the door and look there -does it ever look beautiful: the chair and the lamp. I wanted to get the place looking pretty good.”

The Manor
He was proud of his room.

From June to August, 2006

The Manor
Gravenhurst Manor

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Leisureworld: September to February

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wheelchair

He couldn't get around any more. His knees were weak.

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Xmas door decorations

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Palliative care record in which I kept dates and events
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window decorations

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Aunt Adie's Painting-

To make him feel more at home.

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Flowers make a difference
Feb.6
Valentine Decorations

Feb.7
Feb.7

A hooded fleece kept him warm.

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beautiful hands & tea

Brian fed dad his breakfast every day from September to mid-October.

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I fed him dinners from October until January. It was a wonderful time to give him care and loving attention. Often it is hard to make conversation. Having a job to do helped me help him.

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The Muskoka Room

Fluid intake was important. He loved his coffee. Some days he would drink two cups, and two cups of milk.

Obituary

On Friday, February 16, 2007 Raymond Dane Jilks passed over in his 81st year. His daughter was at his bedside. His marriage of 59 years to the late Joan (Butt), both of Bala and Toronto, thrived in a spirit of Christian love and fellowship. Ray is survived by his sisters: Jean Bezley and Irene Humphrey. He unconditionally supported Joan through many years of various facets of her illnesses. Nothing was too much trouble. In the bosom of Muskoka Ray and Joan demonstrated loving kindness and compassion by involving themselves in Bala United Church, and participated in many other volunteer activities, over many years. Joan and Ray sang in church choirs all of their lives. They were in a Gilbert & Sullivan society, The Elderberries and the North York Chorus. Mom & Dad

A kind and caring father, dad always had a strong sense of family. He supported his children, Jenniferof Bala (Brian Racine) and Robin of Campbell River, B.C., in every aspect of their lives. He attended every school event; track meet, swim meet, choir concert, and Air Cadet function throughout our family life. He led Scout troops and supported the community, as much as his wife and children, in many ways. In the bosom of Muskoka he and Joan demonstrated loving kindness and compassion by involving themselves in Bala United Church, The Cranberry Festival, the Bethlehem Trek and other volunteer activities.

Raymond began working at age 15 - when his father died. He had to go out to support his family. Putting in 30 years at Canada Hardware, he earned his Architectural Hardware Consultant’s certificate during a series of summers.He meticulously read architectural drawings and created lists of hardware for two-dimensional buildings soon to become a three-dimensional reality. He would make lists of hardware from those plans. He would then make a bid on a construction project using his list to make a quote. His careful attention to detail was reflected in his personal documents and affairs. Joan worked at Canada Hardware, as well, until Jennifer (at age 6 months) was adopted. She told the story of standing up at her desk and yelling across the floor to all who could heard, "We have a baby!" Robin was adopted at the age 6 wee

He lavished grandchildren, Caitlin (Jean-Luc Cooke), Jesse (Tia), Terry (Heather) and Keegan, with love and affection in his own quiet way. Many a fine Muskoka day was praised with flowing silver coinage for eager grandkids sent to the Balacade for an afternoon’s entertainment.

There are many family photos of the new property in Bala. Joan and Ray bought a property two doors down from her sister and brother-in-law and four doors down from her brother and sister-in-law. The family slides show the respective families having picnics and swimming sessions at the water's edge.The family spent every summer in Bala from 1960 onwards. After Joan retired from the Rotary Club office, at age 66, they moved to Bala full time. Living in the cottage, they helped build the new house. They entertained many friends and family over the years, in rain or shine.

Ray had to give away his precious dog, Bandy, when he moved into Gravenhurst Manor on May 28th. This broke his heart. Ray was a lover of nature in all forms. His gardens and plants thrived under his care. He raised violets, vegetables, gladiolas, roses. His BBQing (come rain or shine) was one of the best parts of visiting. Joan & Ray’s Open Houses at Christmas time allowed Ray to be a host with the most; good and dear friends came from near and far. He was handy with tools and built many JoanRay2001.2
things with great precision.

Ray succumbed to his last bout of cancer in the bosom of some phenomenal souls at Leisureworld. We would like to thank the staff at Gravenhurst Leisureworld who made both my dad and myself feel welcome and comfortable, especially in his last days. He was treated as a person, not a patient. His six-month stay helped me get to know many staff members. Together we have ensured that he has been as comfortable as possible. We laughed with him at his devilish antics, we joked with him with affection and we shared his final journey with a sense of respect and awe. With always a kind word, a smile or wise and witty repartee, we have been embraced with joy and a loving spirit by all staff. They have an amazing spirit and their kind dedication to serving seniors in Muskoka helped eased dad's transition from this world to the next. Blessings to all of them, as well the caring staff at Gravenhurst Manor, where he spent June, July and August. Their care helped ease our last cognizant months with dad. His last months were difficult as the tumour took hold of his mind. His last weeks were intolerable as he lost more of his language and his cognitive abilities.

Cremation has already taken place. Visitation is to be held Thursday, April 12th from 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. and Friday, April 13th from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. A celebration of his life will be held Friday, April 13th at 3:00 p.m. at Cavill Funeral Home in Gravenhurst, 215-1 Bay Street. If desired, donations may be made to the Canadian Cancer Society. Their support system has proven to be invaluable to our family. You can donateon-line through www. CanadaHelps.org.

Jennifer & Brian, and Robin Jilks

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Celebration of Life for Ray Jilks

Cavill Funeral Home Gravenhurst April 13, 3:00 p.m.
Order of Service Last update: March 14

Welcome to Raymond Dane Jilks’ celebration of life.

Prayer

Rev. Sue Woods
Hymn: #747 Psalm 23 The Lord’s My Shepherd
Dad has sung this many, many times.
 
Scripture: Psalm 121
Scripture: John 14
 
Hymn: #703 In the Bulb There Is a Flower
This was one of mom and dad’s favourite hymns.
 
Reading: I’m Free  
Hymn: Lead Me Lord
Dad sung this frequently in the last few months of his life. He could be heard all the way down the hall.
 
Meditation
Prayers
Sue Woods

Hymn: #960 THE LORD’S PRAYER (sung)
 
Reading  Robin
Hymn: #684 Make Me a Channel of Your Peace  
Eulogies:

Robin

Jennifer

Closing Hymn #266 Amazing Grace  
Benediction Sue Woods
   

Last update: Apr. 14, 2007 back to top