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Ray Jilks(1925 - 2007)Celebration of Life: April 13, 2007 Brain Tumour Information
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Living and Dying With Dignity: A daughter's journey through Long-Term Care (Jilks, 2008)
The story of mom's cancer and dad's brain tumour
On Friday, February 16, 2007 Raymond Dane Jilks
passed over in his 81st year. His daughter was at his bedside. His marriage
of 59 years to the late Joan (Butt),
both of Bala and Toronto, thrived in a spirit of Christian love and fellowship.
Ray is survived by his sisters: Jean Bezley and Irene Humphrey. He unconditionally
supported Joan through many years of various facets of her illnesses. Nothing
was too much trouble. In the bosom
of Muskoka Ray and Joan demonstrated loving kindness and compassion by involving
themselves in Bala United Church, and participated in many other volunteer activities,
over many years. Joan and Ray sang in church choirs all of their lives. They
were in a Gilbert & Sullivan society, The Elderberries and the North York
Chorus.
A kind and caring father, dad always had a strong sense of family. He supported his children, Jenniferof Bala (Brian Racine) and Robin of Campbell River, B.C., in every aspect of their lives. He attended every school event; track meet, swim meet, choir concert, and Air Cadet function throughout our family life. He led Scout troops and supported the community, as much as his wife and children, in many ways. In the bosom of Muskoka he and Joan demonstrated loving kindness and compassion by involving themselves in Bala United Church, The Cranberry Festival, the Bethlehem Trek and other volunteer activities.
Raymond began working at age 15 - when his father died. He had to go out to support his family. Putting in 30 years at Canada Hardware, he earned his Architectural Hardware Consultant’s certificate during a series of summers.He meticulously read architectural drawings and created lists of hardware for two-dimensional buildings soon to become a three-dimensional reality. He would make lists of hardware from those plans. He would then make a bid on a construction project using his list to make a quote. His careful attention to detail was reflected in his personal documents and affairs. Joan worked at Canada Hardware, as well, until Jennifer (at age 6 months) was adopted. She told the story of standing up at her desk and yelling across the floor to all who could heard, "We have a baby!" Robin was adopted at the age 6 wee
He lavished grandchildren, Caitlin (Jean-Luc Cooke), Jesse (Tia), Terry (Heather) and Keegan, with love and affection in his own quiet way. Many a fine Muskoka day was praised with flowing silver coinage for eager grandkids sent to the Balacade for an afternoon’s entertainment.
There are many family photos of the new property in Bala. Joan and Ray bought a property two doors down from her sister and brother-in-law and four doors down from her brother and sister-in-law. The family slides show the respective families having picnics and swimming sessions at the water's edge.The family spent every summer in Bala from 1960 onwards. After Joan retired from the Rotary Club office, at age 66, they moved to Bala full time. Living in the cottage, they helped build the new house. They entertained many friends and family over the years, in rain or shine.
Ray had to give away his precious dog, Bandy,
when he moved into Gravenhurst Manor on May 28th. This broke his heart. Ray
was a lover of nature in all forms. His gardens and plants thrived under his
care. He raised violets, vegetables, gladiolas, roses. His BBQing (come rain
or shine) was one of the best parts of visiting. Joan & Ray’s Open
Houses at Christmas time allowed Ray to be a host with the most; good and dear
friends came from near and far. He was handy with tools and built many
things with great precision.
Ray succumbed to his last bout of cancer in the bosom of some phenomenal souls at Leisureworld. We would like to thank the staff at Gravenhurst Leisureworld who made both my dad and myself feel welcome and comfortable, especially in his last days. He was treated as a person, not a patient. His six-month stay helped me get to know many staff members. Together we have ensured that he has been as comfortable as possible. We laughed with him at his devilish antics, we joked with him with affection and we shared his final journey with a sense of respect and awe. With always a kind word, a smile or wise and witty repartee, we have been embraced with joy and a loving spirit by all staff. They have an amazing spirit and their kind dedication to serving seniors in Muskoka helped eased dad's transition from this world to the next. Blessings to all of them, as well the caring staff at Gravenhurst Manor, where he spent June, July and August. Their care helped ease our last cognizant months with dad. His last months were difficult as the tumour took hold of his mind. His last weeks were intolerable as he lost more of his language and his cognitive abilities.
Cremation has already taken place. Visitation is to be held Thursday, April 12th from 7:00 – 9:00 p.m. and Friday, April 13th from 1:00 to 3:00 p.m. A celebration of his life will be held Friday, April 13th at 3:00 p.m. at Cavill Funeral Home in Gravenhurst, 215-1 Bay Street. If desired, donations may be made to the Canadian Cancer Society. Their support system has proven to be invaluable to our family. You can donateon-line through www. CanadaHelps.org.
Jennifer & Brian, and Robin Jilks
Order of Service | Last update: March 14 |
Welcome to Raymond Dane Jilks’ celebration of life. Prayer |
Rev. Sue Woods |
Hymn: #747 Psalm 23 The Lord’s My Shepherd Dad has sung this many, many times. |
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Scripture: Psalm 121 Scripture: John 14 |
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Hymn: #703 In the Bulb There Is a Flower This was one of mom and dad’s favourite hymns. |
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Reading: I’m Free | |
Hymn: Lead Me Lord Dad sung this frequently in the last few months of his life. He could be heard all the way down the hall. |
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Meditation Prayers |
Sue Woods |
Hymn: #960 THE LORD’S PRAYER (sung) |
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Reading | Robin |
Hymn: #684 Make Me a Channel of Your Peace | |
Eulogies: | Robin Jennifer |
Closing Hymn #266 Amazing Grace | |
Benediction | Sue Woods |